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Rita Indiana’s Papi: Many Holes to Fill

 This week we read Papi by Rita Indiana. This book is one of my favourites so far. I was always interested throughout the book and was intrigued by this complex father-daughter relationship. Some themes I want to discuss from the book are childlike perspectives and imaginary vs. reality. I also want to discuss the relationship between the daughter, Papi, and Mami. 

First, this book is from a child's perspective; the daughter is eight years old. The language and style of this perspective reminded me of other stories we have read this term, like Mama Blanca and Cartucho. The child's perspective plays a significant role in this book. A child's imagination differs significantly from an adult's; adults are more in tune with reality. The young girl adores her father from a young age and is "blind" to his discrete, violent ways of being a drug dealer. She knows he is one, but that does not detract from her image of him and his love for her. An adult would understand the situation and be more upset by the father's actions. But this daughter is left to imagine what her father is doing and believes that Papi is everyone's beloved saint. 

"Sometimes when I hear that scary music, I get really happy cuz I know he might be coming this way." (1)

Although he is scary, the young daughter knows that her Papi loves her, and she seems not too bothered by this. The young daughter is wrapped up in how Papi makes her feel and how he makes everyone feel loved. As an adult, we would internalize his drug dealing role more and be angrier because he is absent. However, as a child, she is so focused on the love from her Papi and doesn't internalize those things as a young girl. She constantly brags about her father and his many cars and girlfriends. 

The theme of imagination vs. reality is also seen throughout Rita Indiana's Papi. 

Because the daughter's father is more absent than present, it leaves her a hole to fill. She is left to imagine things about her father, what he would be like, and especially what kind of father he could be to her. Jon mentioned in the lecture that Papi is like her imaginary friend, and I couldn't agree more. She uses Papi for popularity at school and knows that people will like her because they all love Papi. Papi is like her guardian angel, always there to brag about or use to keep her appreciated and safe. 

It is apparent throughout the book that the daughter struggles with this complex relationship. Papi is always there; he is on the billboards and in the cars but rarely actually present. I can't imagine how complex this must be for the child, knowing that her Papi loves her and everyone and she can feel his presence but never spends time with him. We can see her struggle, especially after he passes. 

"Papi was in me, and I was in Papi. I even licked the salsa picante from Papi's impeccable cuticles. I was exactly the same as Papi. I was Papi. I am Papi." (129)

She is struggling with losing her father, whom she never honestly did know, and we can see that she is insecurely attached to him. She can't accept this loss and wants Papi to live with her, which forces her to want to be Papi. 

I can relate to this complex father-daughter relationship in some ways. I lost my dad young, leaving me with holes to fill. I always wonder what kind of father he would be like. I wonder how my life would be different with him present. I struggled a lot with my father's loss, just like the book's young daughter did. I held onto sweaters and items from my father, similar to how the daughter took and swallowed the tooth. To keep Papi in her, in a way, I wore my father's sweaters to keep him alive in me. 

Lastly, we have Mami. Mami's relationship with Papi also affects the daughter.

"Papi told Mami he was gonna get married again but not to her; she said, As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. And I think one time, when Papi stood me up, I called him on the phone and told him, I hope you die." 

The daughter is attached and like her mother in many ways. They struggle with Papi's absence, and the daughter takes after her mother. 

At the end of the book Mami is hospitalized, and the daughter visits her.

 After a chaotic childhood, the daughter is now there, with her mother taking on her caregiver role. This attachment is secure, compared to Papi, who was always absent. Mami never had as many cars as Papi, but her unconditional love is there for her child, and we can see that the daughter cares about her. They both have survived their chaotic lives, dealt with Papi's absence and passing, and still are attached to and loved by each other. 

My question for you is, have you ever lost someone or something? (can be a short-term loss too) when you lost this, did you imagine things to fill the holes of their absence, like Papi's daughter? 

and/or 

Do you think Papi's absence would have less effect on the daughter if he wasnt beloved by the town? Would she have struggled less without constant reminders about him and this "idealized" image of Papi?

Comments

  1. I find the way you approach your reading of the novel very interesting. It is true, we can follow the clues to see how Papi's figure is built and how Mami's is presented. From the overwhelming presence of the father at the beginning to his progressive disintegration towards the end of the narrative, we can see how the mother is gaining relevance. The look at Mami's suffering corporality is also different from the linguistic proliferation that Papi's adventures present to us. It seems that the narrator's voice is not the same either. I would like to know the opinion of others on the questions you left us this week.

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  2. I just want to say that I appreciate your sharing also part of your own story with us. These personal connections and resonances can be an important part of reading a book. At the same time, perhaps, you see how similar issues that you may have experienced are played out in a very different context, and in very different ways. I wonder how you think the specific Dominican (and Caribbean) context, as it is described in the book, also shapes the daughter's relationship with her father?

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  3. Hi Alyssa,
    I liked how you connected this to your life, and to answer your question, I will too.
    You ask if I've ever lost something and used my imagination to fill in the holes, and yeah, I have. Instead of it being my father though, it was my mother. My mother and I had a couple of years where I would rarely see her. In those years, I would use my imagination to think of what she was doing and that she was getting better. It's definitely really hard on a child when a parent is absent, and this book sheds light on the trauma that can come with that. It helps the reader get attached to the book when you connect your personal experiences to it, so thank you for making me think about that.

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